Tuesday, January 20, 2009

You are my shining light when darkness captures me.



Today was certainly a roller coaster! I woke up this morning with a start at 4 in the morning, as if from an awful nightmare (though I can't remember my dream). Despite all attempts, I couldn't fall back asleep, so I just took a shower and relaxed on my bed in a daze. A very dark shadow edged it's way into my thoughts, something I could not shake off but it was a dreadful foreboding. I got dressed and into the car and figured I'd just forget about it as the day continued. As I was stopped at a red light on my way to school, BOOM, my car was jerked forward, and then another thrust. Shit. I've been hit. My hands shaked uncontrollably and I desperately tried to hide my stuttering voice, but I immediately went with my responsibilities. 911 was called, along with my father, information exchanged. He was very nice, but my car looks like absolute shit unfortunately. After a series of various other unfortunate and utterly stressful events the day basically concludes with, my car is in bad shape and my mom refuses to help me out with college tuition. (For those that are unaware, I have a horrible relationship with my mother, my motivation for living was going to college in LA, but apparently we cannot afford my sweet escape.)
However, the day wasn't all bad. After my mom's sudden outburst of hate towards me (generally there is some sort of warning), I drove to a nearby park and cried. It's been a long time since I had a good cry, and it was actually quite relieving. I texted my "lover", (I don't know what to call him lmao xD), and we ended up spending an hour or so together, basically drove around, blasting techno, and went to the same park where I had my break down as a way to replace the place with a better memory lol. When we aren't together, he completely confuses me. But when we are together, it feels like everything is just right.

P.S. I found this mix of "happy hardcore" techno music, check it out if you're interested :D

15 comments:

Aless & Rocío said...

Thank for the comment!!
Amazing pictures!!
xx

Kat said...

awww, the cupcakes look fantastic,
i really like your blog :)

yiqin; said...

The second one is fab!!! I love how the cards are so huge.

the_kitten said...

uff hope ur better now. sorry that your day went quite wrong. but well, at least it took a very good turn no? anyway, thanks for that mix. it sounds really like fun. sort of more tasteful than what my buddies come up with when they try convince me of their happy hardcore ^^

Cate said...

That woman in the last picture is a kind of girl who I bet is tough and cool.

It's weird, how you wake up sometimes and are just wide awake.
Aw, that foreboding sounds scary and horrible.. :( And what happened to you is scary too. I hope you're not hurt and that you are okay now!
I think it's mean of your mum, not evem wanting to help you out with college tuition. I'm so sorry you have a bad relationship with your mum.

But at least you have your lover. I'm glad you're happy with him.

Couture Carrie said...

I am so sorry about your accident...

This is one of your loveliest collages yet! It is always such a treat to visit your page, M!

xoxox,
CC

dapper kid said...

It is wonderful to know he is there for you and makes the rough days better :) Hope you can get the car fixed and everything with your tuition works out dear :)

Nil said...

I'm sorry for the accident :( But you are lucky to have someone to count on, who knows how to comfort you. Hope you have a better relationship with your mother in the following days
Kisses

TheMinx said...

ahh, that sounds terrifying! I'm so glad you weren't seriously hurt, and I hope everything works out well for you with your family and your loverr :P

Trish said...

Wow, those pictures are cool! :)

i.d. said...

Oh, hun, I'm so sorry about your terrible day. I would give you a hug if I could. The important thing is that you're safe, and that there's someone who obviously cares about you. xx

Aurine said...

awww, i hope everything works out for the best with your family and anything else. interesting happy hardcore....
and i love the picture of the couple

frances said...

you poor thing! gorgeeous photographs though, and i'm glad to hear you've got a nice boy-pal to cheer you up. x

Poshhh said...

the dresses in that photo with the card pyramid are amazing
xx

Blonde hair, Blue jeans said...

the picture of the collage with the girls dressed with the cards...it's great