Today was certainly a roller coaster! I woke up this morning with a start at 4 in the morning, as if from an awful nightmare (though I can't remember my dream). Despite all attempts, I couldn't fall back asleep, so I just took a shower and relaxed on my bed in a daze. A very dark shadow edged it's way into my thoughts, something I could not shake off but it was a dreadful foreboding. I got dressed and into the car and figured I'd just forget about it as the day continued. As I was stopped at a red light on my way to school, BOOM, my car was jerked forward, and then another thrust. Shit. I've been hit. My hands shaked uncontrollably and I desperately tried to hide my stuttering voice, but I immediately went with my responsibilities. 911 was called, along with my father, information exchanged. He was very nice, but my car looks like absolute shit unfortunately. After a series of various other unfortunate and utterly stressful events the day basically concludes with, my car is in bad shape and my mom refuses to help me out with college tuition. (For those that are unaware, I have a horrible relationship with my mother, my motivation for living was going to college in LA, but apparently we cannot afford my sweet escape.)
However, the day wasn't all bad. After my mom's sudden outburst of hate towards me (generally there is some sort of warning), I drove to a nearby park and cried. It's been a long time since I had a good cry, and it was actually quite relieving. I texted my "lover", (I don't know what to call him lmao xD), and we ended up spending an hour or so together, basically drove around, blasting techno, and went to the same park where I had my break down as a way to replace the place with a better memory lol. When we aren't together, he completely confuses me. But when we are together, it feels like everything is just right.
P.S. I found this mix of "happy hardcore" techno music, check it out if you're interested :D