WTF?! MICHELLE IS BACK???!

Bonjour!* Michelle is back with a new blog! Neon Stilettos is still alive, just I won't be updating until further notice. If you'd like to continue following inspirational photos and the occasional updates on my life, click for my new blog on tumblr: Glamour Training or you can follow me on twitter. I hope to see you all there! xoxo

Hold me & love me, just wanna touch you for a minute.

le love. ♥

Hey everyone!! How have you been? What are your plans for the summer?? Already have enticing stories to tell? hehe :) Sorry for the simple inspiration photo, I am leaving to New York soon and wanted to make a quick post before my departure. I promise that once my life slows down a bit I will return to being your faithful lil blogger bringing you daily inspiration and an abundance of adoring energy. Until then I hope you will patiently await my return!

Things that make my smile brighter:
The Lady Gaga & Marilyn Manson love game collaboration. Finally graduating from high school (Class of '09 ftw~). Knowing I turn 18 this Friday (June 19th!). Being positively coo-coo in love with a fantastic boy and all the adventures we go on. Tweeting. Receiving flowers. The fact that I'll be in New York in a few hours!. Friday Dungeons & Dragon nights with my brother and friends. Disneyland. Wearing obnoxiousities in my hair (bunny ears, massive bows, etc). Being out all night and sleeping only a few hours during the day. Moving to L.A. July 2nd and school starting at FIDM July 8th. The sun finally peeping it's way through this june gloom. Being well aware that I live a truly blessed & beautiful life.

Bon anniversaire! xoxo

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
NEON STILLETOS!!*

I can't believe this blog is already a year old! If you're curious, you can see my first post here. I was going through my old posts in the archives and was fascinated at how my style has evolved, and yet stayed the same? If you're interested I definitely suggest taking a look :o)

Anyway, in celebration of my one year marker, I'd like to ask you what you'd like to see on the website! :) I'm currently working on moving things over to my own domain and figured this is a wonderful opportunity to hear your suggestions on what you think I should do to expand and/or improve on. Neon Stilettos has generally been a personal blog that presents my latest inspirations and occasionally my random thoughts, but I'd like to begin adding more content to add to the site's appeal. I have plenty of ideas of my own, but please, please let me know what you think!

I also want to thank all of my faithful readers!! The ones that have been there for a while now, continuously coming back, and in turn, we have been supporting each other. I am enormously grateful and feel quite blessed from the friendships I've made from blogging.

P.S. Also a HUGE thank you to the marvelous Valentine! She is an absolute sweetheart and created the new & divine banner I now have up, which inspired the new color scheme. A new look for a new year~ Thanks again <3 <3 <3

P.S.S. Please let me know if you'd like to trade links!

P.S.S.S. I'm still a twitter addict~

Yeah, and the visual is stunning, I hope they document what I'm becoming.

Sorry for being so bad at updating the blog, I've been so preoccupied with Twitter. =P
(Britney Spears, Suicide Girls, and Betsey Johnson is following me! <3)

Other things distracting me...
Running. Beautiful spring weather. Planning my summer. The Electric Daisy Carnival lineup. Boys. Struggling for survival in a house with absolutely no food...and I fail at grocery store shopping. The Ocarina of Rhyme - an amazing hip hop mix to different songs from Ocarina of Time. What I Like About You marathons on TV. Daydreaming. This pole dancer - how did she do this? I must learn! Betsey Johnson store - I may end up splurging on a bag this week. I Only Wanna Be With You by Samantha Fox - the video and song is so cute! Looking up pinup photography & searching for garter belts and lingerie. LMyLife.com - the perfect contradiction to FML. Reading The Confederacy of Dunces for my English class, but I surprisingly like it. This new feeling of empowerment & independence.

So what's been distracting you lately? :)

P.S. Would anyone be interested in creating a new banner for the blog? I feel like the one I have is too small & too boring. Email (brutal.cupcake@gmail.com) or comment me if you're interested! :o)

I'm walking on sunshine~

"It’s spring fever! When you’ve got it, you want...oh, you don’t quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes you heart ache, you want it so!" -Mark Twain


What is it about spring that just completely sends our minds a million miles away from present projects, that fills our minds with flurries of fantasies, and make our heart beats a fluttering? Spring time is about the abundance of sunshine, soaking every ray of light to awaken our hibernating winter bodies. It's about anxiously dipping your toes into a pool, though it isn't exactly hot enough to submerge your whole body into the cold water. It's about shedding layers of unnecessary clothing, experimenting with new looks, and seeing how many new & unique people you can attract into your life. Spring somehow encourages spontaneity, wild flirtation, and lustful romances. It brings out our compassionate side, our connection with Mother Nature & the universe. It encourages us to take risks we wouldn't normally dare to take. Like striking up a conversation with the cute stranger standing behind you in line for coffee, taking a yoga class outdoors, or wearing a pair of fuzzy bunny ears in public. Don't be afraid of being silly, don't be afraid of unfair judgment. The people who hate don't matter, and the people who matter don't hate. Learn to let go of the past. Let all negativity and pain slide off of you like water slides off a duck. Spring is about the new! The opportunities, the encouragement, the passion, the adventure. Take this as a chance to expand your mind, expand your horizons. Read up on topics you've always been interested in...like palm reading, ancient & modern philosophies, or even neuroscience! Get outside, listen to your heart, to the birds, to the wind. Spread some magic, find your calling, show off your sparkling smile. Life is beautiful & you are beautiful!

Just because I'm hurting, doesn't mean I'm hurt.

It's funny how it can take months, at best, to finally put your trust in someone,
put your full heart in someone. It's funny how, despite your better judgment,
you silence your proper instincts and dismiss it all as paranoia, but
in a matter of mere minutes, it all shatters right before your eyes.
The broken pieces of your heart fall to the floor in a neat little pile,
and the only thing you can do is take the time to bend down, sweep them up,
and gently put it all back together. Realizing your mistakes without trying
to punish yourself. Learning so that next time you will know better.
The truth always comes out. That's just how life works. The universe reveals all.
And when that truth does come out, it can either fill you up with confidence
and positive energy, or it can utterly break you. I don't feel as sad as I
thought I would be. I am strong, and I have so much potential. All I can do is
continue moving forward, chasing my dreams and never holding back.
I'm going to shine so bright.

J'ai envie de toi desesperement.

i love...
how you accept my weirdness, and that you're weird too
when you give me a dozen quick kisses, i can't help but giggle with delight
how "let's bake cupcakes" has morphed into a codeword for something else
that you put up with my ridiculous insecurities, intoxicated or not
when you randomly text me to ask how my day is going
that we can go out partying or cuddle on the couch and it's never boring
when i catch you looking at me when we're with other people
the way your body feels pressed up against mine
that this is the first time i have ever felt this way
i love you.

Just as dew refreshes the wilting flower, tenderness restores the grieving heart.

I am so sorry for my lack of updates! Can't believe this is only my second post in the month of March! xD My life has been hectic and I just haven't had the time (and to be honest, the motivation) to be a faithful blogger. Things have been getting better, so hopefully I will begin updating more often. :)

Will you persist even after I bet you a billion dollars that I'll never love you?

"Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.
Only, I don't know how they got out, dear.
Turn me back into the pet that I was when we met.
I was happier then with no mind-set.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, I'd 'a jumped from my tree
And I'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

New slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.
Hope it's right when you die, old and bony.
Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,
Never should have called
But my head's to the wall and I'm lonely.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, I'd 'a jumped from my tree
And I'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs,
And bleed into their buns 'till they melt away.

I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am I too dumb to refine?
And if you'd 'a took to me like
Well I'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well."
New Slang - The Shins

If this is right then why can't I seem to say what's on my mind?

"Your flirt finds me out
Teases the crack in me
Smittens me with hope

Possibly maybe probably love

As much as I definitely enjoy solitude
I wouldn't mind perhaps
Spending little time with you
Sometimes
Sometimes

Possibly maybe probably love

Uncertainty excites me
Baby
Who knows whats going to happen?
Lottery or car crash
Or you'll join a cult

Probably maybe possibly love

Mon petit vulcan
You're eruptions and disasters
I keep calm
Admiring your lava
I keep calm

Possibly maybe probably love

Electric shocks?
I love them!
With you dozen a day
But after a while I wonder
Where's that love you promised me?

Possibly maybe probably love

How can you offer me love like that?
My hearts burned
How can you offer me love like that?
I'm exhausted
Leave me alone

Possibly maybe probably love

Since we broke up
I'm using lipstick again
I suck my tongue
In remembrance of you."
Possibly Maybe - Björk

you and me are the disease and the germs are spreading.

I'm in such a strange mood, not necessarily in a bad way. Lately I feel like I've been living reality in my own kind of dream, everything is backwards and upside down, and I'm just kind of gliding through it all. Maybe it's because I'm graduating in June, and will be starting my life on my own in July...and everything now is just mundane. I'm here in my Neverland, simply waiting to escape to the next fantasy, to live the life I was meant to live. I'm very excited for the future, but as for the present...nothing feels like it's actually happening. I'm inspired by strange, unexpected, almost creepy things, and see beauty where people generally overlook. I suppose it's similar to the line "beauty in the breakdown". I feel damaged and yet...more like in my cocoon waiting to break out. I don't know, but I do promise I'm completely sober...just trying to figure out my own thoughts and feelings haha. xD

On a completely separate and random note; if you have twitter, follow me! :) Don't have twitter? You have to get an account, it's addicting and also a great way to network~

Another random note: 2 songs I can't stop listening to; Suffocated Love - Tricky & Book of the Month - Lovage. I feel like they really capture the weirdness of my mood :P

for every night I dream, the more I do believe...

Sorry for my two week absence! A lot has been going on, and I just couldn't bring myself to post. I'm sure it's obvious that my photo collages are based on my personal inspiration of the moment, so when I'm not feeling very good, there isn't any inspiration to post. I had to deal with an overwhelming amount of school work, boy drama, and then I caught an awful fever. Everything is better now though, but I'll spare you guys the details :) I have learned: 1. Not to be so quick to trust people, but those that have proven their loyalties I treasure deeply. 2. The quote, "Never give up someone you can't go a day without thinking about", is absolutely true. 3. A "to-do" list makes everything seem a little more bearable. 4. I need to pay more attention to if I'm getting the proper nutrition, not just snacking on cupcakes, but making sure I am eating enough fruits and vegetables. 5. I have become addicted to working out and fat-free yoplait yogurt :o)

This song makes me feel so happy :)


I went to the mall yesterday, and when I walked past the MAC store I actually saw the hello kitty Chippendales dancer from this video!

want to ignore this hesitation, but i just need a little confirmation.

Liking a boy is like riding a roller coaster that never seems to end. Sometimes it's exhilarating, but other times it just makes you feel sick. I've never been so crazy for someone, and yet never been so insecure.

"I wanna be your illusion, be you illusion,
To make you happy tonight...
Enjoy this trip with me.

I wanna be your emotion, be your emotion,
Why don't you turn off the light?
Imagine how we could be living.

Sometimes I wonder why we have no limits,
Everything we do is timed, to find out who we are,
We won't stop playing this special game of love.

And when we get together, the time is running,
I'll be your dream that you'll remember over and over...
If only you tried me, if only you touched me."
illusion - benny benassi

Maybe we'll shine forever.

I Love You More Than ____ is such a cute website! :D

If you're like me and absolutely addicted to the fast-paced bass of House or Happy Hardcore music, then check out Di.fm, an online radio website that will absolutely indulge any craving for dem dirty, nasty beatz. ;D

And if you are really impressed, follow the banner:

You are my shining light when darkness captures me.

Today was certainly a roller coaster! I woke up this morning with a start at 4 in the morning, as if from an awful nightmare (though I can't remember my dream). Despite all attempts, I couldn't fall back asleep, so I just took a shower and relaxed on my bed in a daze. A very dark shadow edged it's way into my thoughts, something I could not shake off but it was a dreadful foreboding. I got dressed and into the car and figured I'd just forget about it as the day continued. As I was stopped at a red light on my way to school, BOOM, my car was jerked forward, and then another thrust. Shit. I've been hit. My hands shaked uncontrollably and I desperately tried to hide my stuttering voice, but I immediately went with my responsibilities. 911 was called, along with my father, information exchanged. He was very nice, but my car looks like absolute shit unfortunately. After a series of various other unfortunate and utterly stressful events the day basically concludes with, my car is in bad shape and my mom refuses to help me out with college tuition. (For those that are unaware, I have a horrible relationship with my mother, my motivation for living was going to college in LA, but apparently we cannot afford my sweet escape.)
However, the day wasn't all bad. After my mom's sudden outburst of hate towards me (generally there is some sort of warning), I drove to a nearby park and cried. It's been a long time since I had a good cry, and it was actually quite relieving. I texted my "lover", (I don't know what to call him lmao xD), and we ended up spending an hour or so together, basically drove around, blasting techno, and went to the same park where I had my break down as a way to replace the place with a better memory lol. When we aren't together, he completely confuses me. But when we are together, it feels like everything is just right.

P.S. I found this mix of "happy hardcore" techno music, check it out if you're interested :D

necessity is placed upon me knowing you are the source of my serendipity.

Oh and just to update my faithful readers, I broke up with the boyf last week. I don't miss him in the slightest bit, and honestly I am much happier being single, but apparently he is still hung up. Oh well? I am still positively crazy for this other guy (one lustful posts are dedicated to), but so are like ten other girls, and I fear that I am just another hoe on his list. Nonetheless, I'm going to do my best to stand out from the others, and maybe he'll give me a chance? :)

Till then, I should heed the advice in this song:
"Well you can fall in love
You could find mister right
You will spend all your time
to keep him in sight
You gotta take a hold of your life
Come with me
Be single for a while
Have some fun and be free"
the single life - sarina paris

vos es meus letalis sin.

Your cruel device,
Your blood, like ice,
One look could kill,
My pain, your thrill.

I wanna love you but I better not touch.
I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop.
I wanna kiss you but I want it too much.
I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison.
You're poison running through my veins,
You're poison...I don't wanna break these chains.

Your mouth so hot,
Your web, I'm caught,
Your skin, so wet,
Black lace on sweat.

I hear you calling and it's needles and pins.
I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name.
Don't wanna touch you but you're under my skin.
I wanna kiss you but your lips are venomous poison.
You're poison running through my veins,
You're poison...I don't wanna break these chains.

Running deep inside my veins...
Poison burning deep inside my veins.

poison - groove coverage

Happy 2009!

Here's to a year of constant smiles, tender affection, stolen kisses, and tingling sensations. A year of playful dreaming, overflowing inspirations, luscious cupcakes, and living out even your most secret fantasy.

I made the unicorn mask pictured above with my sister, she went for a more electric, feathered look hehe. I think it's becoming a tradition to go to Micheal's with whatever money we can find after a blow-out with our mum and just make some random art project, last time we made little stuffed animals. xD Anyway, here's how they turned out:


And this is the outfit I wish I could have worn for New Years lol:

my affection, well it comes and goes, I need direction to perfection.

Family life getting me down and my supposed boyf isn't much help at all. He's very awkward when it comes to these things, but perhaps it's because he comes from such a sheltered, happy, together family. Isn't a bad thing, just apparently makes it hard for him to understand where I am coming from, or reach out emotionally, or put in any input whatsoever. He says absolutely nothing after I confess a suppressed rant on family drama. Nothing. After a few awkward moments of silence, he managed to say "That sucks". *sigh* I need a man to protect me and love me in this stage of my life, not a boy I have to teach how to be a decent lover. Thankfully he is capable of picking up the boyf's slack...(perhaps now the poem in the post below makes more sense?)

je vous veux mais nous ne pouvons pas être ensemble.

When I see you,
I ache for your attention
Crave it like a drug
Try to hide my envy of her.
When I am with you,
I don't want you to let go
You stimulate my mind, body, and soul.
I must remember, you don't belong to me and I don't belong to you,
You have the key to my heart yet I'm forbidden to give it to you.
This constant back and fourth,
Makes my head dizzy and my heart sore.

When I see you,
I'm overwhelmed with thoughts
Sometimes I feel utter affection
Whereas other times I feel annoyance.
When I am with you,
I feel content with the world
But out of sight out of mind.
I must remember, I belong to you and you belong to me,
Reluctantly I give you the key.
This constant back and fourth,
Makes my head dizzy and my heart sore.

What to do
when there is no fine line
between right and wrong
between lust and love
when you get so caught up
you loose your perspective
you loose yourself
and you know your options,
but you can't bring yourself to think about them,
since none of them will end favorably,
so you stall for time,
continue to accept mediocrity
and suppress your passion for another,
praying the day that it all back fires never comes.

Not that it really matters, but I wrote the above poem/rant. Can you guess the scenario I'm in? lol ;)